whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
she peed on how many people?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I deserve this hangover.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
