It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He felt like a one man threesome
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
