I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
