Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
