I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
