is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
