it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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