Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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