3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize