i think my tv is drunk
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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