No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
