sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
