worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
