Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize