do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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