When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
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I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
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I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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