My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
