its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
The Olympian is in my bed
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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