She said her name was "party"
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
