Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
