so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
