I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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