You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
