That's intense
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
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