you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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