It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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