Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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