so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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