So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize
