If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
this hospital has no fireball
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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