i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
