This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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