What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize