If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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