i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize