Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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