new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Randomize
