new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
