Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
