Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
