There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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