im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
