Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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