He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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