I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
