he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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