stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
