Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
