Texts From Last Night

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  (646): View more from New York

  it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet

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  (646): it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet http://tfl.nu/1rea
  Replies (2) Good night (734) Bad night (880)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...

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  (918): Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic... http://tfl.nu/yey5
  Replies (88) Good night (10250) Bad night (1548)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says

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  (229): whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says http://tfl.nu/6xum
  Replies (47) Good night (1490) Bad night (5587)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?

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  (469): is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl? http://tfl.nu/85q0
  Replies (23) Good night (4040) Bad night (863)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.

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  (802): I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck. http://tfl.nu/89bk
  Replies (154) Good night (1716) Bad night (40855)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.

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  (509): Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied. http://tfl.nu/w7qp
  Replies (17) Good night (964) Bad night (6099)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.

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  (301): you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens. http://tfl.nu/fm3u
  Replies (10) Good night (981) Bad night (3271)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.

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  (918): WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW. http://tfl.nu/fz7p
  Replies (9) Good night (1233) Bad night (4044)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship

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  (954): Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship http://tfl.nu/znld
  Replies (8) Good night (1428) Bad night (3709)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....

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  (907): I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on.... http://tfl.nu/kmcf
  Replies (10) Good night (1390) Bad night (918)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.

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  (+44): We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate. http://tfl.nu/gets
  Replies (8) Good night (1938) Bad night (604)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?

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  (615): She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable? http://tfl.nu/4ysm
  Replies (7) Good night (705) Bad night (1208)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots

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  (614): the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots http://tfl.nu/2b0r
  Replies (4) Good night (634) Bad night (308)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Happy you have kids and I don't day!

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  (262): Happy you have kids and I don't day! http://tfl.nu/yzfq
  Replies (4) Good night (862) Bad night (295)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...

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  (973): Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again... http://tfl.nu/uyrk
  Replies (1) Good night (347) Bad night (723)

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