the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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