something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.