like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.