What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge