Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
ugly people sure do ruin things
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
