Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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