I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
