I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
