so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
