I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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