Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
