let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
