Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
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I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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