PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
