My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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