I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
