why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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