Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
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