His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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