Fine. I'll sleep in my office
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
