First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
