Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
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