I think my vagina is haunted
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
