he puts the penis in happiness.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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