Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
this just has baby written all over it
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
