she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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